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O, a duct tape world!

02/20/2001

The problem with today's youth is that they have way too much time on their hands. If they have enough time to go make ugly little gang designs a dozen different places on the building I maintain, well, I say give these kids another place to expel that excess energy.

I wonder if they've seen me cleaning up after their graffiti, because they're getting smarter. They're putting the marks higher and higher where I can't reach them. I had to get out the ladder. 

This is the second time I've cleaned up after them this week. Last Friday it was a PAIN in the butt. Lately there's been a lot of rain, so they took globs and globs of soppy mud and threw it all over the wall. I tried to brush it off with a broom, but I was basically unsuccessful and it hurt my arms and the dirt flew in my eyes and hair.

Maybe I should buy the punks some duct tape and a "how-to" guide--heaven knows duct tape keeps me occupied enough. 

If all the world had duct tape, there would be no graffiti on the walls. There would be no murders or robberies. There would be only gray masses of glorious sticky duct tape. There would be only beautiful silvery sculptures. 

O, a duct tape world! How sweet thine thought!

Life's paradox

02/15/2001

It's a new age.  Technology hides in the simplest things, like watches.  Whatever happened to sundials?  Weren't they good enough for us?  No.  It is time to move on.  I have long said that you have to keep moving to stay the same and you have to move even faster if you actually want to get somewhere.  In Through the Looking Glass, the Red Queen and Alice run furiously.  "Faster! Faster!" When they finally stopped, Alice looked around her in great surprise.  "Why, I do believe we've been under this tree the whole time! Everything's just as it was!" The Red Queen explained, "It takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place.  If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that." It is the Red Queen phenomenon.  Even in this world, life doesn't progress.

Technology never flourishes.  The history of mankind cannot be charted on a line, nor can it be charted on a circle.  Life is a spiral.  True, technology progresses life, but only to the extent that we repeat the things we did in a new and "more advanced" manner.

It is life's paradox.  100 years ago it was unheard of for a woman to be working.  Instead, women spent their days in the house cleaning.  It took them a while-we didn't have fancy cleaning products that are specially designed to pick up dust, get out stains, clean glass and surfaces.  There weren't any washing machines.  There weren't any vacuums.  Cleaning was a difficult task.  In addition to the heavy task of cleaning, women had to cook meals for their families.  Women were not sitting around twiddling their thumbs.  Today, in 2001, women spend their days going to work.  They work to make money.  They make money to pay for the expensive appliances they use to clean the house in less time.  They make money to pay for the more expensive ready-made meals that they no longer have time to cook.  And in the end… women spend their days working-just like they did 100 years ago.  Technology hasn't saved us time.  Technology costs money and money is time. 

Life's paradox.
 

I think too much.

02/15/2001

I think too much.

I think about thinking too much too much.

While walking about the parking lot picking up trash, I started thinking about thinking too much.  I realized that I think about the same things over and over.  I turn them over in my head until I misplace the topic and move on.  Nothing is ever really resolved.  I think purely because I can't help it. 

So maybe I know I have a better grasp on stupid things like the United Nations or socialism, but in the end, my thinking does no one any good.  It might possibly provide for interesting conversations which are as aimless as my thoughts.

I think about the silliness things.  Today I noticed a flock of seagulls soaring over the parking lot at the grocery store.  What are they doing here? I wondered.  Seagulls over a parking lot would sure throw some tourists for a loop.

It comes down to a fundamental question:  What do we live for?  Do we live to change the world for the better?  Or… what?

I don't live in this world to reek goodness.  I live because I haven't died yet.  

Chocolate chip cookies in the toilet.

02/12/2001

Something is wrong when, at the end of the day, you can only vaguely remember what happened that day. The days have been increasingly shady and my mind has been a fuzz.

I know more clearly what I did in my dreams. I was at a zoo. I was petting a giraffe. And I was being chased by motorcycles in the parking lot. They were trying to arrest me. I found the chocolate chip cookies in the toilet, but it didn't look like they had gotten at all wet.

At that point, just as I was about to snack on a cookie, the phone rang. It was 8 o'clock. Jason was on the phone from college. It seems his keys got locked in the van, along with his backpack.

I couldn't help but think, "Idiot. Idiot." He's walking home now. Totally sucks for him.

I found the spare key after about 30 minutes of searching. It was on the floor of the office. I don't know how he's going to get back to the college. He'll probably have to walk again. Maybe he can take a bus.

Skip a day.

01/11/2001

Yesterday I loaded the worship slides onto Steve's computer and he says, "What's it titled?" "oh-one-oh-nine," I responded. "Isn't today the tenth?" "No, I don't think so." "Yeah, it's the tenth."

What?! Crap. That means I missed a day. Somewhere along the line, an entire day passed me by without acknowledging that I was there.

I think it was Monday. 

Ants Marching

01/7/2001

Oftentimes, I sit just out of my garage leaning against a tall bookshelf and read my school books. The ants frequently distract me. They'll be walking along, dragging other dead ants up, walking single file, straggling by themselves... whatever. If I'm out coloring my biology diagrams, I might take my colored pencil and follow them with it. They're all over the place.

They panic when they get knocked down or when a flood of water pours over them.

They writhe in pain when I cut them in half with my fingernail.

But mostly, I just watch them march. I stare at the cement floor which is, upon close inspection, made up of thousands of tiny little rocks. To the ant, these rocks are enormous! It's amazing what ants put up with.

I was sitting up one night leafing through the pages of my Bible and "Ants Marching" was playing on my player.

"Driving in on this highway
All these cars and upon the sidewalk
People in every direction
No words exchanged
No time to exchange

And all the little ants are marching
Red and black antennas waving
They all do it the same
They all do it the same way
"

The lines of the songs suddenly struck me. People are just like ants. They're so small and there are so many. If one of them dies, no one even really cares. I mean, our social structure is more complex... but if you allow all the intricacies to simply melt away--well, we reduce to ants.

Ants marching. No words spoken. Not enough time to speak. Stumbling over the obstacles and writhing in pain.

Living. Eating. Working. Dying.

Isn't that what we all reduce to?  

Calendars are rather inhuman.

01/01/2001

Calendars are so unfeeling and inhuman. It's almost sickening.

It's always been a habit to write down every important facet of my day on my calendar. My little signposts that remind me of what happened when. So whether it be baby-sitting or having a friend over, the event is written on my calendar.

As such, at the end of the month, my calendar is a mess of black ink. Times, places, things, and scribbles. It's probably not even intelligible to anyone but me.

At the end of the year, I've made it a tradition to flip through my calendar-trying to make sense of the scribbles. What an incredibly long year! I don't really even remember the first five months. I suppose I do, but everything that happened seems like it was from another year, or another time, or maybe that it was only something that happened in a dream. But alas! It is written in my calendar so I know it must be so.

The first five months of 2000 consisted of basically baby-sitting, school, and debate. I could probably cut out all those months and not miss a beat-that's how utterly worthless they were.

However, June, June was the catalyst. My calendar listed the things that happened. Graduation, go to the zoo with my grandparents, vacation in Washington state, come home…

Come home.

Just two little words that I penned in the little white box of June 16th. They mean nothing. My calendar knows nothing. In fact, the entire calendar means nothing to anyone else but me. "Come home." Come home to house that did not welcome me. Come home to a house that no longer was mine. Come home to my mother's miscarriage. Come home to my dog in heat. Come home to a troubled van in need of mechanical repair.

But my calendar reflected none of this. All that was written was "Come home."

Or skipping ahead to August 8th, when I went to the zoo with Rudy and Matt. What a day! It was the best of fun just wandering about the San Diego zoo with 9-year-old Rudy and Matt, laughing, watching the monkeys, making fun of Rudy…

But the calendar can't describe my sentiments.

The calendar knows nothing.

Picking up pennies.

12/30/2000

Hello, my name is Kirsten and I pick up pennies.

Especially if they're heads up. Because that's lucky. I used to argue with my friend, Aileen. She said that it was only lucky to pick up pennies if they were tails up. But I think she's wrong.

When you think about it, you can probably pick up a penny in about 1 second. At that rate, you're making $36.00 an hour. That's better than I make baby-sitting or cleaning.

Of course, the critics respond with, "Maybe if you could pick up pennies for an hour. Then it would be worth it." But cripes, the math still works out the same. "It's not worth it for a split-second," my brother aptly responds. Of course not! I wouldn't pick up a split-second's worth of a penny. That would just be stupid.

But a whole penny. Hey, why not?  

My life as a book.

12/24/2000

I can't stand books and movies and television. You know why? They steal all the good ideas. 'Cause you know what? I even saw something like this idea on television. It was on "Dharma and Greg". They were out to dinner with their friend and a poet. They were trying to hook them up.

"Oh, I never read poetry. I have to be a blank slate."

If I never read novels or watched TV and movies, would I still come up with ideas? I don't know.

This morning in church, everyone was standing and singing "Where You Lead Me" and a couple of older women in front of where I sat hugged briefly.

But then, oh, man. The dark-haired woman tried to pull away from the embrace, and she found she was stuck. Her snowflake earring had gotten snagged into her friend's sweater. It was so funny. They struggled for several moments before they finally got it free.

Amy, Chantal, and I all exchanged glances and began to smirk. I coughed a few times to cover up for the laughing. Every time I got myself back together, I would look at Amy and see that she was still on the verge of a good laugh. And then that got me going again.

Something just like this happened in a book I read a long time ago. The two women were actually chatting during the worship, and it was their hat pins that got tangled... but it's the same concept.

So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?

And isn't that a line from "You've Got Mail"?

People just keep ripping off my ideas.  

Chinese food

12/23/2000

I like Chinese food. It's better than Japanese food because they give you fortune cookies. Have you ever noticed how forture cookies aren't usually fortunes? Take the ones I got last night:

"You are a classic"

"You have firm convictions--stand strong behind them"

Those aren't future tense. They're present tense. I hate that.

I had Chinese food for lunch today. My brother burnt the pizza, and so I cooked some rice and ate the chicken leftover from last night.

As I scooped out the rice from the bottom of the rice cooker, I was struck with a sudden realization:

Cooked rice closely resembles maggots.

Reality is relative.

12/21/2000

Hey, sweet. I just won a game of Solitaire. [censored.] That game is really difficult. I lost a lot before I won.

I was thinking yesterday as I lay down to sleep...

Reality is subjective. No, reality is relative. That sounds better.

At that point, I was still trying to figure out if I had woken up yet.

Of course I've woken up. I can tell the difference between a reality and a dream.

But not really. In my dream within a dream within a dream, each time I "woke up" I thought I was fully awake. In fact, the second time I "woke up" I remember thinking how silly I was to think I had gotten the hives. I remember thinking how wrong the whole dream was logically speaking. But my new reality seemed very normal, even though looking back it was incredibly unrealistic.

So what is realistic? It all depends on your perception. And that's why reality is relative.

And I'm still waiting to wake up.

"It's crazy I'm thinking
Just knowing that the world is round
Here I'm dancing on the ground
Am I right side up or upside down
Is this real or am I dreaming?
"
-- Crush, Dave Matthews Band  

A pink and purple room.

12/17/2000

I lied on the day bed. A pink-striped comfortor with lavender hearts covered the bed. I propped up my head with some pastel pink throw pillows. Her name was in big pastel letters on the wall: "O L I V I A" The curtains were pink. Light purple hearts decorated everything.

Man, I thought, this room is so girly.

But then, Olivia is a girl. And she's only 3-years-old. And her favorite colors are pink and purple.

But if I was her age, I would detest having a room like that. Ew.

Maybe if I grew up exposed to such colors, I would have grown to like them. Hey, wait. I did grow up in a pink room. I wonder if that helped to fashion my intense hatred for the color pink.

Do our surroundings make a difference in our person? They have to have some sort of impact.

The places and people we grow up with make us who we are.

What amazing power our parents yield over our lives. Heck, they even get to choose our names.

The grass is always greener...

12/15/2000

Someone offers you a choice of two envelopes and tells you that one has twice as much money in it as the other. You pick one envelope, open it and find $100. The other envelope thus must have either $200 or $50. When the proposer permits you to change your mind, you figure you have $100 to gain and only $50 to lose by switching your choice, so you take the other envelope instead. The question is, why didn't you choose that envelope in the first place?

I am a debater.

12/12/2000

Fact: Debaters are weird.
Fact: Debaters are dweebs.
Fact: I am a debater.
Therefore, I am a dweeb and I am weird.

Shucks.

You can debate without being weird or dweebish, but you won't be any good at it. If you're good at debating, then you are necessarily weird and dweebish. It's part of being a debater.

That's who I am.

That's why I click with every single person in my debate club. We are all intrinsically debaters. Through and through.

I must say, I'm the coolest debater out of them all. That really isn't saying much...

Friday night became Saturday morning as I worked on my case. I had it written, but it had to be 8 minutes... and well, it wasn't. Try 10 minutes. Blah.

From there I had to chop and cut and reword everything. And then time it. And then chop and cut and reword the things I thought were vital. And then time it. And then cut out "however" and other useless words. And further cut into the parts I thought were vital. And then time it. Bah. I hate this part. I've got a good case, good evidence, and then I have to trim it down to eight minutes!

Bah.

I need to keep a good attitude about debate and partners. Remember what I am.  Remember why I'm in debate.

Then I think I'll be okay.

I can analyze just about any situation to death. And logic myself out of emotions. Good or evil? I don't know.

Sometimes I don't know who I am. If I am who I am. Or if I am who I made myself. Or if who I am is only who I think I am and I am actually something else...

I can't wait until I find myself.  

Eeek!

12/04/2000

"Eeek!" is the sound I just made.

I browsed through a couple new immigration articles on CIS. My head bopped along with the music playing in my head phones. My hand calmly rested on the mouse as I scrolled here and there.

I reached over with my left hand to scratch an itch.

"Eeeek!"

A giant spider was scrambling across my right hand, inflicting the "itch".

In one swift movement, I leaped up out of the chair, the head phones and the spider went flying on to the floor.

"Die, fiend!" I cried as I slammed a yellow floppy disk over the spider time and again. "Die!"

I shivered from shock. A close encounter with death will do that to you.

Why is that a spider maybe a centimeter in length can walk across my hand and I shriek and shiver from shock? For goodness sake! I'm like, a million times bigger than he is. The spider was maybe a third of the size of Lego people. And yet, I'm still spooked over the whole affair.

Maybe this is another instance of being brainwashed by, who else? space aliens. They've trained us to react to teeny tiny spiders by shrieking and being terrified. I mean, if you really pause long enough to consider, logically, the scare-factor a spider presents you with, it's really not frightening at all.

But oh no, space aliens have trained us to react in fear.

Babies are just little mocking birds.

12/04/2000

I had to baby-sit for a baby tonight. Just one. Her name is Isabel and she's 20 months old. She's very spoiled. But that's okay. I shielded her away from the cleaning supplies causing her to scream hysterically. But fear not! I pulled out a bit of brownie and she smiled, laughed, and took the brownie. Talk about your mood swings.

She was going nuts with the baby powder. She wanted to play with it, so I poured a bit into her hand and blew it in her face. She laughs. More baby powder. She blows it out. Laughs. More baby powder. She blows it out. Laughs. I poured a small amount into my hand and sprinkled it in her hair. I wiped off my hand on my jeans. She gets a little more and she dusts off her hands, and then wipes her hands on my jeans. Crazy. Babies are nuts.

She wanted some water in a sippy cup. It was hot pink and shaped like a lion. You drink out of the cup by sipping the tail of the lion... Isabel knew this (I think) because she did that to begin with. But she went to drink of the lion like a normal cup... and she might've gotten some of the water into her mouth, but most of it poured out of the tail and onto her pajamas... I just sat there laughing. There was a pretty big puddle to clean up afterwards though.

You can practically see the light bulbs go on in babies' heads.  You can almost read their minds.  Isabel picked up a plastic phone.  "Phone…" she thinks, and her thoughts progress. "Phone…mouth…phone…mouth…phone…mouth… phone in mouth…ewww."  The thoughts progress and become jumbled.  I've witnessed this in my friend, Dayna.  We were at summer camp and she held my toothbrush in her hand.  The thought process was nearly identical to that of Isabel.  "Toothbrush…toilet…toothbrush…toilet…toothbrush…toilet…" And then, as the thoughts intermingled, my toothbrush was dropped into toilet. 

I leave you to conclude whatever you will about the mind of my friend Dayna.