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<mild
rant>And now I have to rant about cup sizes. Have you ever noticed how
you can't get a "small" drink at fast food restaurants anymore?
I'll be up there ordering, "And...I'd like a small Dr. Pepper"
and the lady repeats back, "One regular Dr. Pepper."
"Um...yeah, whatever."
What's up with that? That's frickin ridiculous. Whatever happened to
Small, Medium, and Large drinks, huh? Now it's Regular, Large, and
Extra-Large. Oh, no. Can't say Small. That's bad for marketing.
But geez, they're the same size.
Shows you how important our conceptualizations are. WORTHLESS. They're
bloody WORTHLESS.
And what's up with the dumb foreign language names for coffee? Tall,
Grande, Venti. I can never remember the order and so I end up
ordering a small caramel frappechino when I really want a medium one. I
wish we could go back to the good ol' days before all these fancy drink
size names. I need tradition. I need simplicity.</mild rant>
Maybe I'll become Amish...
America was
founded upon Christian principles. At least, this is what I'm beginning to
piece together based on text from my history book and the concepts that my
professor lectures about in class.
Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence, "That all
men are created equal, and that they are endowed by their
Creator with certain unalienable right, and that among these are life,
liberty, and the pursuit of happiness..." Yadda yadda. I know you've
heard it before.
We gain our understanding of equality and liberty only
through the understanding that we were all created by the same God. The
Declaration of Independence was written with the skew towards God,
"All men are created..." "endowed by their Creator..."
But minus the Creator, who endowed what?
How does the right to equality and liberty work out if we are just
organisms that evolved to the state we are in now? That really would put
us on the same level as cows and chickens, which most of us have no
problem consuming.
If we're just more evolved than cows, how can we justify killing them and
not killing each other? What's the difference?
During a slide
show in history class...
The slide show was terribly boring: "...some depicted Indians as
generous and calm...others depicted them as BEASTS!" Omigosh!
Somebody call the news! This is SO important and SO interesting!
My mind began to wander. I started thinking about the composition of the
universe. How big do you suppose the universe is? I've heard that the
universe is infinite... but suppose the universe is shaped exactly like
the earth and if you go straight long enough you'll end up where you were.
We only assume the universe is boundless because we haven't seen
its boundaries yet. But just because we lack knowledge of the universe's
limits do not necessitate that it is limitless.
How is the universe shaped, then? Maybe it's shaped like a square...or a
triangle...or a dodecahedron. That would be trippy. I wonder if God knows
what the universe is shaped like.
And what, pray, happens if you reach the edge of the universe?
Maybe it's like in the Truman Show. Your boat crashes into the side of the
universe and you get out and look for the door out. Only, there is no door
out. That would be a gigantic disappointment. =\
OR WHAT IF the universe is shaped like a chess board! Maybe when
you reach the end of the universe, you turn into a queen. Or perhaps you
would not literally a queen, but you might become what the queen
represents in a game of chess--that is, the most powerful piece.
That's great! I mean, why work your way up to a powerful position in the
world? That would take too long! Schooling, more schooling,
experience...etc. You can skip all that! Just get to the end of the
universe and BANG! power is yours. Yeah...
I am
everything
you think I am.
And more
My favorite
vowel is "I". It's all about me. One wouldn't need to be a
rocket scientist to be able to see how self-centered I am. Just pay
attention to how many times I use the word "I".
If I'm having a conversation with someone and they say, "I went to
Disneyland," I immediately relate that to my life and respond,
"Wow, it's been forever since I've been to Disneyland." Hey
baby, it's all about me.
I don't feel too bad about that… I mean, I figure everyone is equally
self-centered. It's normal. And in addition to being normal, it's vital to
our existence as a nation.
If everyone gave a flying leap, there would be no stability. If every time
someone died or was hurt we all took time out of our day to mourn as if it
had happened to us, we would never get anything done. We'd spend our days
sad and depressed due to all the bad in the world. There just isn't enough
time in the day to be truly empathetic.
Consider the ant. The ants march along doing their little thang, and if
one of them gets crushed, the others don't stop and weep. The ants go
marching (Hurrah! Hurrah!). In fact, they make the death a
profitable enterprise. Watch. One of the ants will pick up the dead one
and carry it home for dinner. Now that's clever thinking.
So next time you reprimand someone for being too self-centered, remember:
it's people like them that make the world go 'round.
My cup
overflows
and I watch
steel wine
fall to my lap.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Arms folded
across my chest.
Look at the ceiling!
Light catches it at such a
peculiar angle.
Stained
due to my remiss.
Rachel called
me and wanted to do something today. We decided to go downtown.
It's true what that old song says about downtown.
"When you've got worries, all the noise and the hurry
Seems to help, I know - downtown
Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty
How can you lose?"
Today I noticed so much. I was constantly aware of the moment. From the
eyecandy to the scents of the wharf, it was lovely. We didn't need
to do anything. We just were there and we enjoyed just being there.
We sat for a while by the water and looked into the green sea,
contemplating the worth of our objects should they accidentally drop into
the water. "Would you jump in if your shoes fell in?"
We wandered over to the old building where David works and admired the
architecture. Then we spent 30 minutes or so lying on the green grass just
outside of the building, discussing life and love and palm trees.
As we got up to leave, Rachel began spinning around looking upwards toward
the sky. I stretched out my arms and starting spinning as fast as I
possibly could. If you haven't done that for a while, you should. There is
little better than experiencing the rush of toppling over yourself because
you are so dizzy...and then lying on the ground looking up at the sky
wondering when it will stop moving...
Rachel and I have a similar love of life. We observe the same things and
love the simple things that make life great.
Downtown has a lot of character. The old buildings, the sky scrapers, the
bay and the boats...but mostly the people. In all of San Diego, there are
no finer people than those that are downtown. They're deliciously
peculiar.
I wonder if those people are peculiar because downtown fills them with the
same euphoria I felt today, or if downtown fills me with euphoria because
of those people.
I love
dandelions. It's definitely my favorite flower.
They're a fabulous yellow color and they're wonderful when they're in that
fluff stage. Did you know that if you make a wish and then successfully
blow off all the little fluff seeds, your wish will come true?
I can hardly ever blow off all the fluff seeds in one breath, but today I
picked one up...
I thought, I will never be able to blow all these seeds off. They're
stuck on too tight. Oh, well. And then I blew...
That's when I realized a new anti pet peeve: blowing off all the dandelion
fluff. I know my wish will probably not come true, but I still couldn't
stop smiling for at least five minutes afterwards. :)
And I love it when I can't stop smiling. People look at me funny...and I
inwardly boast because they have nothing to smile about.
Hello, my name
is Kirsten. I have a slight case of nyctophobia. That would be, I'm
afraid of the dark.
Not in a, "Omigosh! Someone turn on the light! Plug in the
nightlight! I'm going to cry!" kind of way. Rather, in a much more
subtle, "I don't like walking into dark, unknown places."
Every night when I walk into my room, I'm very quick to turn on the light.
Sometimes, I check in the closets for closet monsters. That's why I'm
afraid of the dark or dark crevices.. I can just imagine a crooked thin
body crouching behind the car waiting to leap upon me and thrust a knife
down my throat and then have sex with my dead body.
But I find an unfounded security in lighted places. I mean, c'mon,
if there was a nasty closet monster or mean person lurking in my
bedroom would being able to see him really help matters? I think
not! Visible or not, either way I'm perfectly helpless.
And that's why I think I'm ridiculous to have a fear of the dark. It
doesn't change that I feel more comfortable when I can see... but at least
I know I'm ridiculous.
Mirror
mirror on the wall...
For as long as I can remember, I've been fascinated with mirrors. I loved
the full length mirror at my nana's house. I remember fighting with my
cousins over who got to dance or sing in front of said mirror.
There's something about the way the mirror girl does exactly what I do. Is
it her following me or me following her?
When I was 10, my greatest fancy was that the girl in the mirror had her
own life in her own parallel world. After I walked away from the
mirror, she went her way and I went mine. I would try angling myself so I
could see what her house looked like beyond the mirror. I could never get
in just the right position... There's always something beyond, something
you just can't see. Maybe it's the most realistic part of reality.
Sometimes I had staring contests with the girl in the mirror. Whoever
blinked first lost. I never caught her blink. But once, I swear...she
winked at me. Eh...No one else believed me either.
In my bathroom, there's a big mirror on the wall above the sink and then a
cabinet with a mirror door. If you open the cabinet door until the mirror
on the door touches the one on the wall, and if you peek in...there's a
gigantic mirror tunnel. It whips around the bend.
And I've always wondered where it led.
A little girl
had just walked out of the hair salon. She was holding a pink balloon. I
don't know if it was due to accident or choice, but five steps out the
door and the balloon was in the sky. It accelerated quickly and flew into
the sky. My eyes fixated on the balloon, watching it as it flew.
I wondered what it would be like to be that balloon. Probably be pretty
thrilling to be flying in the sky. I've always wanted to fly.
But...when the balloon reaches a certain height, it's going to pop. Just
explode. Right then and there. I wonder which wins out? The fear of
death or the joy of flying.
All the while the balloon flies higher than it had ever flown before. All
the while the balloon is free, instead of constrained by its string. It is
flying! What a thrill.
But the balloon knows that this joyride is going to bring upon a certain
death. The cause of the enjoyment will be the end of its existence. With
the freedom comes spontaneous combustion. Ouch.
The balloon was getting smaller. I squinted to keep it in sight. And then
it was gone. I don't know what became of it, and I don't know when it
"died".
You know, every balloon in existence eventually dies. Maybe it
lives longer...maybe it goes home and loses air slowly until it can't fly.
Maybe it bounces around a room and hits the lamp and pops. So all balloons
eventually die. So as long as you've got to die, you might as well do it with
style.
The pink balloon I saw today had 10 minutes of complete freedom. It was no
longer constrained by a string or a cage. It really flew.
How many people fear death without ever really enjoying life?
My neighborhood
didn't have power today. It made me realize how hopelessly dependent I am
on electricity. Everything I wanted to do required it. Everything.
I felt pathetic.
I don't like being dependent. It's an imprisonment. I am a slave to power.
I wanted to listen to music. I didn't have a radio.
I wanted to chat with my friends. I didn't have AOL IM.
I wanted to work on my history homework (ok, I didn't really want to do
that, but...). I didn't have a computer.
I wanted to sit outside my garage in the sun and read. I couldn't open
the garage.
I wanted popcorn. I didn't have a microwave.
So I hooked up a personal CD player with AA batteries and looked at
advertisements in the paper. It was a mild and boring afternoon. And all
the while I was hot. Because I didn't have a fan.
How do the Amish do it??