Whenever I called my mom, my family would never hesitate to tease me and call me o filhote quirido, mom’s little boy. I was the youngest boy who was more affectionate with mom, and my older brother, who may not have been the hugging and kissing type, loved her just as much. We were both privileged and loved on equal terms. At an early age, Pedro and I became aware, and eagerly accepted the fact that, my mom’s love had acquired a third son, her nephew, Victor Manuel (Camacho), which she never hesitated to help in his raising, and he never hesitated to remind us he was older and bigger. She made sure we were all treated as brothers, and the three of us sure did get into trouble just the same too. I believe that her belief in extending one’s love like this came from her upbringing in our family, especially her Tia Alda, who loved and treated her like a daughter. My brother and I knew we had filial and exclusive rights to her love, yet at the same time we knew her love branched out so far that we gained an extended family throughout the entire community, which means in the U.S. and Portugal. This love of hers was so enormous that whenever she referred to her boys, or girls, we knew it could have been anyone in the community.
Maria Jose (Mary Jo) was born in Funchal Madeira in 1936. This Portuguese island has a saying, ‘its beauty has no end (e seu encanto nao tem fin). I believe this also describes my mom, for her love was unconditional; and I know that her love for us, and the beauty she had, and created will never end. She lived there for 12 years, and then moved to Lisbon, Portugal, but it was in this Island that her seed of faith (Catholicism) began and never ceased. In Lisbon, she began school at the liceu Maria Amalia. As a young girl her passion was education. In fact her worst punishment was if her mom told her that if she didn’t finish her chores, she couldn’t go to school. She went on to study Business Administration, learned to speak 5 languages fluently (English, French, Portuguese, Spanish and German), got a job at a Pharmaceutical Company, and was a member of the Catholic youth group. I remember her saying that while on travel with the Youth Group in Portugal, she met the Pope in Rome, Italy in 1956, and always cherished that moment. Her job began as a secretary, but she quickly became a manager and part owner. During all this she helped her family (her mom and little brother Ernie) with whatever family support was needed, financial or emotional. She was dedicated, simultaneously, to her career, family support and further developing her faith. She met my dad, Victor Manuel (whom we later called Papi), at the Pharmaceutical Company, in 1957, and married him in 1964, and then of course had two adorable, loving sons, Pedro and myself (Joao). While growing up in Portugal, Mama always made sure we all knew that family was the most important. Family to Mama also included close friends such as the Pipoca and Madeira families. They became our bridge to Portugal and she their bridge to the United States.
In 1970, my Tio Ernie, Mama brother, left for the United States, taking Tia Bina and my cousin Ana to start a new life in the greater US.. A year later, my cousin Victor then left to join his parents. It hurt Mama very much to see her brother and his family leave Portugal, especially her nephew, whom she loved like a son. At the same time she was happy because she knew that her brother could realize his potential among the many opportunities in the U.S. In the interim, Portugal had led a revolution, and Papi was torn apart from his best friend, Ernie. Tio Ernie and Papi spoke quite often; so much so, Ernie talked him into coming to the U.S. for a vacation in 1975. After seeing the sites of California, and all that the U.S. offered, Papi was convinced that he wanted to move our family here, especially since he felt that in the long run, the opportunities would outweigh the sacrifice of moving from our native land. By 1977, with the help of Dortiea Ventura, we had all moved here, even though Mama was so reluctant about it, afterall, she was well established in Portugal, but she came to meet her influential destiny in the U.S.
She soon began to appreciate her new life here especially since she was united with her family, along with meeting many loving people from her Island of Madeira, the Azores and Algarve; all of this made the transition much easier for her. In 1977 she started working at Security Pacific Bank, again with the help of Dortiea, but really didn’t want to start over here, in the business field. In 1979, Isabelle Skidmore, the principal of Point Loma High School at that time, hired her as a guidance aid, most notably for her ability to speak many languages, but mainly Portuguese. The days of playing hooky for the Portuguese and Spanish population of Point Loma High were officially over. Mama would be on the phone immediately, and the parents were very well informed about what was going on. The Portuguese kids, thus started calling her Mama, because she took their interests at heart. She was also known as ‘Mrs. B’ for she touched everyone no matter what nationality you were, especially those who were troubled or less fortunate. I know many people remember detentions ‘Mrs. B’ stuck them with, and deep down they knew it was all out of love.
My mom was also involved with the Portuguese Hall and the Saint Agnes Church. In 1981, we lost my dad to a fishing accident out in the open seas. During this difficult time, my mom, Pedro and I received a lot of love from her adopted children, some of which were those that played hooky in High School. The faces of Fatima, Zori, Beta, Roger, Raymond, Rui, Maria and Lidio were like angels in disguise. They gave Mama the love she had felt for them. Basically, I felt that my mom did the Lord’s work by helping out others, and the Lord guided her, through her adopted children during those difficult times without Papi. My mom never remarried, and took on the challenge of raising two boys. She then began working as an employee of the Portuguese Hall in addition to Point Loma High, and BINGO!, she found the ideal place. There she could work with the people of her heritage, her faith and the surrounding community. During the day she was Mrs. B, keeping those kids in line, and then managing the hall at night (of course keeping everyone there busy and on their toes too!). She was then able to visit her beloved country and island as a representative of the Portuguese American Community, which was dear to her heart. Her circle of friends grew as she as touched more people through both jobs with her genuine concern. In church she was able to teach the great Irish priests our funny sounding language. She guaranteed a mass in Portuguese, not only for the elders, but for the new generation, so they could continue the traditions of the Portuguese faith.
In 1994, my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer, which spread to her liver and eventually took her life on January 20, 1999. During her existence with cancer, she stayed steadfast at work, with 2 jobs, until she could hardly walk. She became bedridden after her last mass at Christmas Eve. She vowed to be here for Santo Amaro, and God granted her that wish. Pedro and I were impressed with her strength during her suffering; and the love that she poured out for others, was returned many times over. She wanted to say farewell to everyone, and was still concerned for those who were ill too, especially Smoothie and Mike. I always remember her calling her girls, Janessa, Samantha, Marlaena and Daniella, and wanted them to keep their promise to Titia to always be good girls. She also found the strength to kiss her new grandtwins, Mateo and Natasha, and of course she would always hear Zorie joking around. I will never forget when she said “my brother is worth more than gold, my mom is worth more than this world, and my sons are marvelous”. I know too that my mom loved Tia Bina for all her help and caring, especially while she suffered most.
At last she died with dignity, surrounded with the love of her sons, family, Father Nick and Father Joe. Yes, Pedro and I lost a mom, but we gained an angel of love, and of course, we have the love of the world within her mother, Vovo. We will take good care of Vovo for you mama, and we are so proud to have you guide us through your love forever.